Thomistic Counsel for Parents

In his encyclical, Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI argues against contraception, abortion, and sterilization and in defense of God's order for the marital act as he sees it. He situates this argument within the broader context of the will of God and responsible parenting. He argues that responsible parenthood requires that parents adopt four priorities. He says responsible parents will:

1. Have an awareness of and respect for the proper biological functions of the male and female bodies which reflect the biological laws that apply to the human person.

2. Exert control over innate drives and emotions through his/her reason and will.

3. Have respect for physical, economic, psychological, and social conditions and prudently and wisely decide whether or not to have children.

4. With respect for the objective moral order, responsible parents will keep a right order of priorities and recognize their own duties toward God, themselves, their families and human society.

The first item of responsibility named requires that responsible parents recognize that males and females have been ordered toward the end of procreation. The marital act, uninterrupted, will normally result in conception from time to time. This is due to the biological law which applies to the union of their sexual gametes through the marital act. Sometimes this law is described as what happens with the birds and the bees. And, in a crude way, this illustrates the point. Just as birds and bees and the rest of God's creation come together in this way to create offspring, so do human beings. Responsible parents will recognize this.

Second, responsible parents will use their reason and will to control themselves and maintain their purity in their marital relationship. Here the reason and will of a person are like a bit put in a horses mouth. The horse might like to go where he wants. But his owner will not allow him to. So, similarly, a man's passions may urge him to seek gratification in many ways that are not lawful. He must rein his passions in such that they are under the control of God's will. The same, of course, applies to the female.

Third, it is not as though there is no place or process for prudence in approaching the question of procreation on the Catholic view. Responsible parents can choose, in reflecting on the natural rhythms of fertility, when to come together in view of the many other concerns involved. Are we able to handle the financial responsibility of another child? Can our home bear the stress? Will our other children be able to handle the strains this might introduce? Etc. In this way, just as we might say that a woman's right to choose is in regard to her choice to engage in the marital act, not in her choice of whether to have the child, so, we could say that the responsible parent has a choice regarding having more children. It is the choice of whether or not to engage in the marital act when it could result in conception.

Fourth, responsible parents will, out of respect for the natural law and its objective moral order, create in their relationship and home the proper set of priorities, this will include their abstinence from the use of contraception (on the Catholic view). Just as responsible parents would not introduce a cultural influence that could rot the virtues of the home like explicit music, for example, so the parents will choose to approach the marital relationship in such a way that it also does not introduce a corrupting effect into the home.

How would I apply these thoughts in counseling Christian couples? Were I to find myself in the position to help modern married couples exercise these responsibilities, I would first attempt to help them see the objective moral standard present in the world. This standard points our attention to the will of God and serves as a beacon in the darkness of the world. I would then argue from that objective moral standard to the teleological nature of male and female biology. From there, I would help establish these claims through reference to Scripture. Finally, I would be inclined to make an appeal from the beauty of a home properly ordered, arguing that the most beautiful home-life this couple could have would be the one ordered according to the will of God in all points.